Officially Weird!

Yep, that's right!  I am officially weird.
I came across this knowledge a few weeks ago when I was called into the Provo police department to answer some questions about a robbery.  No, it was not me that was robbed; I was called in to see if I had done it!  Those of you who know me are likely laughing right now.  The thought of me robbing someone is pretty hilarious.
BUT!  The point is that I was hooked up to a computer that would measure my voice patterns and it would tell the detective whether I was lying or not.  He started out informing me that this was a fool-proof system and was always accurate.  I didn't know it at the time, but I was about to prove him wrong.
It started out fairly normal.  He informed me of all the questions that he would ask me and made sure I knew the answers.  This would get rid of any nerves I might have, he informed me.  Of course, right then, I wasn't nervous.  I was quite excited.  This would be such a cool experience.
And then, he hooked me up.  First he told me to say yes.  Then he told me to say no.  Then he told me to say no again.  And yes again, and no again.  It went on for a little bit like that.  Apparently the computer was telling him that I was lying.  I'm not sure how I was doing that considering I wasn't actually answering a question yet.
Finally he started in on the questions.  He told me he would ask me nine questions; two of them would be pertinent,  and two I was to lie on.
So, first question.  "Is your name Julie Ann?"  Yes.  The machine said I was telling the truth.  Oh good.  I would be concerned if I didn't know my own name.
Second question. "Is this table brown?" (It was; this was a question I was to lie on) No.  The machine said I was telling the truth.  Mostly.
Third question. "Are we in Provo?" (we were) Yes.  The machine said I was lying.  Mostly.
Fourth question. "Did you take the jewelry?" (he expounded and said exact names, but I won't on here.) No.  The machine said I was lying.  Mostly.
Fifth question. "Is it Monday?" (it was) Yes.  The machine said I was telling the truth.  Mostly.  The graph looked a lot like the one where I had lied about the table.  This was looking interesting.
Sixth question. "Do I know where the jewelry is?" No.  The machine said I was lying.
Seventh question. "Is it November?" (it was) Yes.  The machine said I was telling the truth. Mostly.
Eighth question. "Have you ever driven over the speed limit?" (those who know me are now laughing really hard, because I was told to lie) No.  The machine said I was definitely lying.  Oh good, it got something right.
Ninth question. "Am I wearing a watch?" (he was) Yes.  the machine said I was telling the truth. Mostly.  Again, it looked a lot like the table question.
So we went through the questions again, hoping to get a clear reading.  It was similar.  And again.  That time it decided I was mostly telling the truth on question six.  By this time, I actually was nervous.  I hadn't done it, but the "always accurate" system was basically saying that I did.  Crap.
The detective finally told me that he'd never seen these kind of results in someone who wasn't trying to hide something, but he didn't think I'd done it.  Due to all other circumstances, e.g. my background and pawn checks, and how open I'd been, he was pretty much convinced that I was innocent.  But he did warn me that they might call me back in.
So, knowing that I AM innocent, and that I WASN'T hiding anything, I now know that my brain doesn't work normally.  Apparently it will allow me to lie without consequences.  What, exactly, does THAT say about my brain?  Too much imagination?  Did I not care enough? (that's my mom's theory - it didn't have enough to do with me)  Who knows?
For the record, since it should be said.  The lady who's jewelry it was has since found it (yeah, it wasn't stolen).
But that is the craziness that is my brain.  Good times.