I quit my job.
There. I said it, it's now officially public knowledge. I no longer work at the Center for Change and haven't for a week and a half. March 26th was my last day there. And here's the story as to why.
I went into this term hot headed and bold. I was going to prove to everyone that I could do school, my externship, and work, all at the same time and without falling behind in my studies.
I was fooling myself.
The first week of the term was boring. All I had was work and school. I hadn't started my externship yet.
The second week was interesting. All I had was school and my externship, and I was loving it already.
The third week was when I realized that the load I had put on myself couldn't be done.
Working 14 hours both Monday and Wednesday and 12 hours Tuesday and Thursday just about killed me. I knew on Wednesday when, for the first time, I was dreading going to work later that day, that this wasn't going to work.
That knowledge grew as I fell behind in my homework - not far enough to get bad grades, but far enough to know that it wouldn't take much to get to that point - and I knew. I knew what I had to do.
So I e-mailed my supervisor. I gave her my two week notice (which was actually two and a half weeks) and let her know the last day that I'd be working. I explained my situation and the Center let me go. But both my supervisor and the HR head called me to say good-bye. I was amazed to find that I was actually going to miss it a little. I'd made friends, I had figured out the system. They had to hire two new employees to replace me.
But I knew I was doing what was best for me.
Before I left the Center for Change, my chest would hurt slightly almost constantly. For the two weeks that I had all three things, it felt as though someone had stuck a knife through my chest and just left it there, embedded deeply enough that I couldn't do anything about it. I can't count the number of times my mom popped my back, hoping that would help. I even got a massage and a CT scan, hoping that those would do something. But to no avail. The pain was constant, though there was nothing wrong with my chest physically.
Then I left the Center. I determined to spend more time studying and a bit of time everyday just completely relaxing, praying that my mom was right and the stress was what was causing my pain. In the past week and a half, the pain has lessened so incredibly that I'm shocked. Obviously, it was stress, and my body doesn't handle stress nearly as well as I thought it did.
I'm also surprised at how much easier studying for my exam is when I'm not trying to cram it in between patients while at my externship or between classes at school. I took a practice exam today and scored a 94%! I have to get a 70% to pass. Obviously, I still have to study, but it gives me hope that even though I didn't get as good of a start on studying as I maybe should have, I still have a good chance of passing. After all, I passed my ham radio exam didn't I? And I understand this stuff WAY more than I did that!
So if you see me relaxing in front of the TV, playing solitaire, or going to a movie with my friends; don't wonder why I'm not studying. Be glad I'm relaxing so that I can concentrate to do so when the time comes. Because trust me, it's very hard to concentrate on anything when your chest hurts that badly.
