Two years

This is a very weird feeling. Tomorrow is the two year anniversary of coming home from my mission. It doesn't feel like it's been that long. But at the same time, when I think about how much I've done since getting home, it seems like forever. I've been to Alaska and back, sent one of my best friends on his mission, and started school.  I think back to that day and am amazed at how far I've come. The feelings that I had that day - how overwhelmed I was, apprehensiveness, the sinking sense of failure. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I was supposed to come home that day, but that didn't change the fact that I felt like I had failed at my mission. I had so much ahead of me that I had to do, that I had to figure out. I didn't know where to start, or who I would be when I finished. Or even IF I would finish.
Well, maybe I'm not finished, simply because I think that's nigh unto impossible, but to think of how far I've come from that depressed, lonely woman on that airplane two years ago, I am simply astounded. I know and have completely accepted who I am. I'm not depressed most of the time, and even when I am, I know how to counteract it. I am finally happy with who I am and nothing is proving that to me more than my Stratigies for Success class. Right now we're talking about negative thoughts and feelings that could hinder our school work, career goals, etc. When I think of what negative thoughts about myself I might have, I honestly can't think of any. There is nothing anymore that can hold me back. I won't ever allow it again. I've been down the road of depression and rejection and pointlessness, and I won't do it again. I refuse to even step foot down that path again and that show me just how far I've come and how well I now know myself. I don't listen to negativity, I don't pay attention to what others think. Everything about me is between me and my Father in Heaven. No one else's opinion really matters. I will listen to advice, and I will take most under consideration, but in the end, I will do what I feel is right. I was never like that before. I have found my freedom and it feels great! The last two years have been so good to me. And now looking back, I realize how much I was not a failure on my mission. It taught me exactly what I was supposed to learn and I did exactly what I was  supposed to do. I am where I'm supposed to be.