My Soundtrack - The explanation

1. My Little Girl (Tim McGraw) – This song just makes me think of my dad and how I know now that he loves me. It took me a long time to figure that out, sadly, but this is to remind me of that love that he has for me.
2. Wind Beneath My Wings (Bette Midler) – This song I have always attributed to my mom. I’ve always felt I could sing this about her with almost complete accuracy. She has helped me through my life and has been there for me when no one else was.
3. My Turn to Fly (The Urge) – This was not only one of my favorite songs through Junior High, but it also marks a time when I was beginning to get out there and gain some independence.
4. Eye of the Tiger (Survivor) – This song is for Orem High School. End of story. I’ll always consider myself a Tiger.
5. Where Were You? (Alan Jackson) – This song is for September 11, 2001. I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I heard that horrible news. I always will.
6. The Angry American (Toby Keith) – This is me applauding, to a point, the action our president took after 9/11. The country pulled together as never before. I only wish it had lasted.
7. So Complicated (Shedaisy) – This song was sung in my heart every time I saw a certain guy all through High School. He was my first love, and I’ll always have a place in my heart to remember how much he helped me through those years.
8. Graduation Song (Vitamin C) – When I graduated, I stayed fairly close to most of my friends, but some of them I haven’t seen since that day. I still remember them, and I hope that they remember me.
9. Breakaway (Kelly Clarkson) – In the year right after High School, when I didn’t know what I was doing with my life, I got very tired of being in Orem and wanted to go anywhere but. I wanted to breakaway and form my own life, but I wasn’t sure how to, and I was scared.
10. Danger Zone (Top Gun) – This was my hot song my first year in College. Marissa Hales, one of my roommates, gave each of us hot songs to remind us that we are always hot.
11. Separate Ways (Journey) – That same roommate, Mar, loved this song and enjoyed dedicating it to each of us in turn, including herself about half the time. Someday love would find us.
12. The Spirit Carries On (Dream Theater) – This song got me through my great-grandmother’s death.
13. Suddenly (Superchick) – This was my theme song for a while there. In the few months before my mission, I wasn’t enjoying my job, and I hated being at home. I feared a part of why I turned my papers in then was not just because Heavenly Father had told me to, but also to escape the life I felt trapped in. I felt as though I was simply existing, not living, and I hoped a mission would help me there.
14. Running Away (Midnight Hour) – Because of how I was feeling about my mission, I almost felt I was using it to run away. I heard this song and it described how I felt about it.
15. Angel of Darkness (Alex C) – When I left on my mission I was determined to help fight Satan, the Angel of Darkness. This song, in a way, will always be my theme song, since I will fight until the end.
16. Leave Out All the Rest (Linkin Park) – When I left my mission I was depressed and definitely not living up to my full potential. It took all of my strength just to make it through the day, and I felt as though I was dying.
17. Don’t Give Up (Judge Jules) – Although I was depressed when I came home, there was a flicker of hope, due to my absolute testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I realized that I needed to be true to myself and Heavenly Father, and no one else really mattered.
18. Breaking the Habit (Linkin Park) – I believe that everyone has something they are addicted to. For most people it’s not very obvious. Me? I was addicted to sorrow and depression. As I started therapy, I had to break that addiction.
19. Papercut (Linkin Park) – While the depression was at it’s worst, I felt as though there were several me’s inside my head, each trying to gain power over the others and laughing when they succeeded. I wasn’t sure which of them I truly was. It wasn’t until I embraced them all that I found some control over them.
20. Bring Me Back to Life (Evanescence) – As I said earlier, I felt as though I was dying when I got home. I was truly drowning in my depression, and it took a lot to find my way back up to the surface. Over the months following me getting home, I felt like I was coming back to life, and the world seemed brighter than it had in a long time.
21. Independently Happy (Blue October) – I cannot describe my feelings when I listened to this song for the first time and realized that I was truly independently happy. I didn’t need a guy, I didn’t need my depression, I didn’t need anything but the atonement in my life, and I was, for the first time I could remember, truly happy. It was likely the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced.
22. One Step at a Time (Jordin Sparks) – I’m not done with my life, I’ve got a long way to go before this depression is fully conquered and I feel like I have complete control over my life. However, in the meantime, I am taking one step at a time, and letting my feet go where they will.